


Had I Lived Long Enough

by Forgotmypiano



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Dies, Death, M/M, No Beta, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Sad, Sad Ending, Unresolved, i can't really english, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 23:52:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forgotmypiano/pseuds/Forgotmypiano
Summary: Sometimes you don't live long enough to do all the things you wnated to do, and that's fine.Maybe not fine. Almost fine. Is an okay situation. Oh, I died. The end.





	Had I Lived Long Enough

There is fire on his hands.

There is fire in his heart.

He smiles.

He doesn’t own a heart.

It would be nice, to have one. To have a real heart, muscle and blood and beats. Small beats. Fast beats.

He has nothing.

Connor can see the wires. Coming out of his chest, of his neck, of his hands. And it’s all colored. 

It’s all blue.

Blue and blue and blue.

Like the sky when the weather was good.

Like the water when you go see the ocean.

Like Lieutenant’s eyes.

He can’t play any record inside his head, like he used to. His memories are corrupted. His optical screen is damaged. He sees in red and yellow. Numbers and letters telling him there is no turning back from that point.

It’s simple, when you think about it. You don’t have a mission, because the mission has you, and in the end, when Deviant Leaders are killed and all the Amandas want you to shut down, you just go. To the dumpster. To the garbage. To the end of the line.

They tried to disassemble him, they sure did. But he was already compromised, somehow. Even after accomplishing his mission. When they shot him, in the middle of his run away form Cyberlife tower, he had just one thing in mind.

He couldn’t die. Not without seeing him again.

Not without seeing him again.

He smiles again, or at least tried to do it. He doesn't have the movement of none of his parts anymore. Not even an eye. Not even a finger. If he could move, he’d look to the ground, to the floor, to where his legs once were. Now he has to face the clouds. The sun. the beautiful day when Connor dies.

His system is not telling him how much time he has left. His system is not telling him anything.

He only feel himself getting hotter and hotter, like someone risked a match on him, which was exactly what they did. After shooting him. After dumping him on the trash.

And still, it doesn’t matter.

Connor knew he was going to shut down one day. It's a fact, as humans know they will die. It is no surprise. It is no shock.

He still wishes to see Hank.

How low is the probability of a lieutenant spending his time looking at trash, in the middle of the day? Not low enough to stopping feeling hope. 

Not low enough.

Connor wanted to be able to replay his memories. He wanted, more than anything in the entire world, to be able to hear that man’s voice. 

He tried to recall everything he has, the human way. Without video recordings. Just somewhere deep inside him. The smell of beer. Curses. Striped shirts. Dog’s hair.

Blue eyes.

Blue eyes, that hated him.

Blue eyes, that respected him.

Blue eyes, that he loved.

Did he, though? Loved? Or was it a post deviancy thing? Was it real?

Doesn't matter, since he’s going to die and no one will never know his love.

A bunch of wires, some blue blood already evaporated. A shot robot. And if they could ask him if he has a last desire, he would nod.

Please, don’t let me love anymore. 

Please, let me see my love.

Please, let me die.

Please, let me live.

And live to see the blue eyes and the curse words and the silver hair and the alcohol smell.

_ I could have loved you, had I lived long enough. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm still in that moment when the words come, I write, and then I forget I wrote them.


End file.
